HEADLINES

New York               1. TiM Editor at St. Sava's Cathedral in New York

Phoenix                   2. An American Indian's View of "Ethnic Cleansing:"

                                   Remember the Trail of Tears?

Belgrade                 3. Serb Black Humor Thrives Even Under Bombs: Tourists Welcome!

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1. TiM Editor at St. Sava's Cathedral in New York

NEW YORK, Apr. 29 - The TiM editor addressed this evening a packed church hall of the St. Sava Serbian Orthodox Cathedral in New York City. The topic, of course, was NATO's war on Serbia, and your editor's recent trip there. After about a 10-minute speech, the TiM editor spent almost an hour-and-a-half answering questions from the audience, mostly Serbian-Americans from the tristate area.

In his opening remarks, the TiM editor noted an irony. "As it turns out, I came to this church hall gathering directly from a meeting in the New York Stock Exchange boardroom; the heart of the New World Order, and the hallowed shrine of the object of its worship - the Almighty Dollar. The thought put a big grin on my face as I was making this trip - from the hall of the NOW's Golden Calf, to this house of God. I knew I was moving up (town - literally!) in this world, and am very happy to be here."

During the question and answer period, the topics ranged from the geopolitical reasons for NATO's aggression; to human interest aspects of this war, such as the effect of NATO's bombing on ordinary people and ecology in the Balkans.

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2. An American Indian's View of "Ethnic Cleansing:" Remember the Trail of Tears?

PHOENIX, Apr. 28 - Since the start of NATO's war on Serbia, we've received several comments from Native Americans - the American Indians - who saw in it a renewal of a gripe of their own. Here is an excerpt from one letter which we've selected for publication:

"Hypocritical - is possibly the word best suited for the American role in the aggressions against the Nation of Yugoslavia. All (alleged Serb 'crimes')- the justifications rendered by the Clinton Administration for this aggression - have been and continue to be perpetrated by the United States Government against its own Native Peoples.

Since the earliest beginning of the United States Government it has sought to eradicate or assimilate the ethic people of the continent it occupies. Germ warfare, massacre of women, children and the elderly, forced removal from Homelands, and sequestering in desolate environments have been U.S. policy.

The removal of ethnic Albanians is played up by the Americans, forgetting that it was the United States Government who ordered the forced removal from the southeastern part of the American continent of the Five Civilized Nations in what was later to be called The Trail of Tears. American Indian People forced from their homes with little more than they could carry in their arms. Forced westward marches with the dead and dying left on the side of the trails. Execution of any who sought to remain or escape. It should be further noted that these Nations were guaranteed by Treaty with the United States Government that their removal would be to lands that would forever be sovereign Indian lands. This held true only until the greed of the American s found need for this land.

The Nations of the world stand by in fear, as if frightened by a large serpent and the threat of its fangs, as the American aggressions continue, forgetting that in time even they will be challenged to withdraw their sovereign rights or be attacked.

Just as the Roman, Spanish, and British Empires before it, the United States Empire has grown in military and monetary strengths to the point that it has placed itself in the position of making the Nations of the World it s subjects. All the Empires before it continued to consume the rights of others until enough courage was borne in them to stand up to the aggressions. Even the American Empire had its beginning by standing against what was then the greatest Empire in the World. And Its victory was only achieved only with the aid of others tired of that Empire.

The United States policies of forcing Nations to adhere to her rule have only served to tear down and weaken those Nations who have succumbed to it. Financial crisis, increased organized crime and overall discontent have been the only blessings the populations of these Nations have seen as a result of adapting to American standards.

The United States Government conceals its aggressions under the cloak of words like World Peace and Human Rights. It is past time for the Nations of the World to realize this deception. It is time for the International Community to follow the lead of the courageous little Nation of Yugoslavia and say the line is drawn here! And to stand in support of this proud Nation.

The time has come for the International Community to begin demands that the American Government practice what it dictates to others in Its own lands before meddling in the affairs of other sovereign Nations. And time for those American Indians who wear the uniform of those who slaughtered their own Ancestors to cease aiding in these aggressions and instead stand up for the rights of their own People. Time for all those facing the intimidation of the American lead aggressions to stand together in opposition to it. All must keep in mind that even the school yard bully becomes meek when faced with a group of those he torments."

Charles Buffalo, Member, Original Nations of the East

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3. Serb Black Humor Thrives Even Under Bombs: Tourists Welcome!

BELGRADE, Apr. 28 - Never a nation to keep its head down, especially not when under attack by foreign empire, the Serb black humor is thriving even as NATO's bombs are raining death and destruction across the country. Here's a mock tourism ad which a TiM reader from Belgrade has sent to us:

To foreign Yellow pages - Advertising - Tourist organizations

THE LATEST!

Latest tourist invention of the 20th century! Tourist offer organized by Yugoslav Tourist Association

If you have always wanted to experience a true excitement... If you think that you saw all the sights in the world... If you want more than your TV screen may offer you... To enter a totally real virtual world of an arcade video game... ..to be on the spot… to achieve your dream… to achieve your mission… to experience a thrill… - welcome to..

STRIKE AGAINST YUGOSLAVIA - LIVE !

A great deal, one of a kind!

For the first time in Europe, first time in the World!

Attractive! Exciting! Magnificent! Unbelievable!

Enjoy it to the sickness!

Go through NATO humanitarian bombing against Yugoslavia - LIVE !

First and unique opportunity to visit and stay in any of

Yugoslav cities by your choice and experience the explosions

and detonations by Tomahawk cruise missiles, cluster bombs and

many other radioactive bombs with all known and unknown NATO

arsenal on the spot, LIVE! You will experience demolishing of

factories, hospitals, schools, buildings, apartments,

so as killing innocent civilians and children in a direct

vicinity!

CITIES!

Belgrade, Batajnica, Pancevo, Novi Sad, Subotica, Sombor,

Valjevo, Uzice, Nis, Aleksinac, Krusevac, Kragujevac, Pec,

Cuprija, Podgorica, Prizren, Kursumlija, Vranje, Kosovska

Mitrovica, and many more devastated places!

SPECIAL PRIZE!

If you find ONE city that suffered no bombing & damage,

here's what you get:

Two week tour around the country visiting refugees of all

nationalities! Pay a visit to all the refugees stationed

in Serbia, Albanians included!

To the rest of our guests, we recommend specially attractive

places! Rock concerts at Belgrade bridges and last

halfly-ruined bridge in Novi Sad! Feel the atmosphere with

live bombing coverage, special effects & lightshow!

ACCOMMODATIONS

Extremely comfortable shelters of Hyatt Regency Hotel and

many other popular places. For our guests with a skin-deep

pocket, we offer private accommodation among many moldy

shelters around and below buildings, which will be generously

shared with Yugoslav old people and children!

Watch the children grow and play inside the shelters and

basements!

DAILY ACTIVITIES

During the day guests pay many visits to demolished

buildings, ruined or totally devastated facilities and many

ambient ruins where they can take some of the debris as a no

charge souvenir - but not lighter than 20 pounds! Traditional

50 pound rock necklaces or a pendant - only 9.95!

Cross country running with the air-raid sirens, fishing

below the bridge, camping beneath the TV emitter and many other

activities! Extra - after midnight visit to chemical and

petroleum facilities! For those who care about their fitness

and health, we organize morning route of 3 miles running and

exercise, breathing freshly depleted uranium!

SPECIAL OFFERS

You demand more excitement, more danger, bigger adventure?

If you think that TITANIC was something, then look here!

1) We are negotiating with NATO Alliance to allow American

tourists to travel by F-117 Stealth aircraft, which

recently provides more fun and much more excitement

than regular B-2 or B-52 aircraft!!! You may also be able

to visit the F-117 graveyard in Budjanovci, but only if

you land successfully!

 

2) For our special guests, depressive American

millionaires, we offer a full-night accommodation at one

of the Military Bases on Kosovo as a 100% successful therapy!

Money back guarantee in death case.

3) Safari Tour! That's right! You can travel with the

refugees across the country, enjoying a unique trip on the

red tractors! Those with the driver's licenses may already

book the tractor (first and last one in the convoy are

already booked).

4) Fast Railroads of Serbia! Get aboard to some international

train and travel through Serbia! Watch the beauties of our

country, canyons and bridges - you may also place a no limit

bet - arriving in one piece or many pieces!

5) Play a role of a famous producer Oliver Stone! Set up

your cameras and your gear and let the actors play while

you direct "PLATOON 2"!

6) Being our special guest, you'll be especially hosted!

A program called "ONE NIGHT IN PRESIDENT'S RESIDENCY"

provides you exceptionally powerful feeling of being

treated as a famous dictator and a monstrous ruler! Family

sleep over increases the adventure!

7) Did you ever want to be a war reporter? Now you have a

chance! Report LIVE from a sight that was bombed, bring

your tape promptly to our national TV center and while

you prepare the record for broadcast, enjoy the belief

that your TV isn't a target! Very exciting!

8) A most exciting, most competitive, most challenging task

you'll get! Play the scenario "SAVE RYANN" live on the

battlefield! Your mission is to find the Ryann before

someone else finds him!

PAYMENT

Since there are many interested ladies and gentlemen among

EU and NATO countries, all of our guests who apply within

next week will be granted a generous discount of 5% per cash

payment and 50% per S-300 payment. We take credit cards -

"American Regret", "NO VISA", "Blast'em Hard".

GUARANTEES

We guarantee that NATO Alliance will strictly respect their

promise and continue intensive bombing of Yugoslavia in order

to improve Yugoslav tourism, since all the other sources of

development are damaged or endangered, and since there are

no other reasons to continue this aggression. If there would be

no bomby-days during your staying in Yugoslavia, or if some

break happens, and if you don't see at least 10 civilians

killed per two nights of bombing - money back guarantee.

RECOMMENDATIONS

The people of Yugoslavia would gladly share their daily food

portions and supplies, but we strongly recommend you to

bring your own food and luxuries such as peanut butter, caviar,

maple syrup etc. UNLESS you want to experience the full

impression of being a Serb in their own country.

If you're not sure with whom are you talking to on the field

and if you can't recognize his nationality, which is a common

thing, you may know who the Serbs are at any occasion - an

average Serb will never say "I did NOT had sexual relationship

with that woman."

ACTIVITIES

This program is supervised by most of the world humanitarian

organizations such as EU, NATO, UN, OSCE, MMF, KLA, KKC, ETA

and many others, for a sake of globalization, peace, stability

and democracy.

CALL- NOW!

JEopardized BIzarre Tourist Entertainment of SErbia -

"JE.BI.T.E.SE"

13 Mite Balije Street

Belgrade

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TiM Ed.: This is a fictitious address, of course. The acronym, the name of the "tourist organization" sponsoring the mock ad, is equivalent of "F… YOURSELVES" in English.

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Also, check out... Truth in Media Statement on Kosovo Crisis, "Wither Dayton, Sprout New War?", "On the Brink of Madness", "Tragic Deja Vu's," "Seven U.S. Senators Suggest Ouster of Milosevic", "Biting the Hand That Feeds You", "A Balkan Affairs Potpourri", "Put the U.N. Justice on Trial", "International Justice 'Progresses' from Kidnapping to Murder", "Milosevic: 'A Riddle Wrapped in a Mystery'...", "Kosovo Lie Allowed to Stand", "New World Order's Inquisition in Bosnia", "Kosovo Heating Up", "Decani Monastery Under Siege?", "Murder on Wall Street",  "Kosovo: 'Bosnia II', Serbia's Aztlan",  "What If the Shoe Were on the Other Foot?", "Green Interstate - Not Worth American Lives", "An American Hero or Actor of the Year?" (A June '95 TiM story) and/or "Clinton arme secrètement les musulmans bosniaques"

Or Djurdjevic's WASHINGTON TIMES columns: "Chinese Dragon Wagging Macedonian Tail,"  "An Ugly Double Standard in Kosovo Conflict?", "NATO's Bullyboys", "Kosovo: Why Are We Involved?", and "Ginning Up Another Crisis"

Or Djurdjevic's NEW DAWN magazine columns: "Washington's Crisis Factory,"  and "A New Iron Curtain Over Europe"